


When my sunshine got dark (please let me be your moon)

by ilovetowrite3



Category: haikyuu
Genre: A Week of Kagehina, About to Die, Alpha Tsukishima Kei, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Drama, Awkward Kageyama Tobio, Best Friends, Can't stop crying, Cancer, Canon LGBTQ Character, Character Death, Crying, Cute, Cute Ending, Cute Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Cute Kageyama Tobio, Cute Yamaguchi Tadashi, Death, Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Falling In Love, Final Haikyuu Quest, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, HQ Writer Zine, Haikyuu - Freeform, Haikyuu Angst Week, Haikyuu Horror Week, Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio Friendship, Hinata Shouyou & Yamaguchi Tadashi Friendship, Homophobia, Hurt Hinata Shouyou, Hurt/Comfort, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Made Myself Cry, Idiots in Love, Jealous Tsukishima Kei, KageHina Week, Kagehina Day (Haikyuu!!), LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Long Shot, Long-Term Relationship(s), Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Make you cry, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Oblivious Hinata Shouyou, POV Kageyama Tobio, Protective Kageyama Tobio, Protective Tsukishima Kei, Recommended kagehina, Relationship(s), Romance, Sad, Sad Ending, Sad Hinata Shouyou, Sad Kageyama Tobio, Sad and Happy, Sad with a Happy Ending, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, To Read, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi Friendship, Tsukishima Kei Being an Asshole, Tsukishima Kei is a Tease, Worth Re-Reading, Yamaguchi is the best friend, find this please, haikyuu angst, haikyuu!! - Freeform, hq to cry about, ifyoulovetoreadfindme, ilovetowrite3, in another life (it will make you cry too), kghn, kghn sad, longlonglong, sad haikyuu, surprizing, the galaxy is endless (it will make you cry too), too sad to this world, try not to cry, tsukishima is jealous, wrote in midnight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:28:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28979634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilovetowrite3/pseuds/ilovetowrite3
Summary: "the galaxy is endless (I thought we were too)", "3 heartbeats", "Oikawa last wishes", "under the LED light" and "In another life", I soooooo got jealous that they made me cry, so here my trying to make you cry back.please, try me.I am better than you think.**********************"you're my star" I took his hand and hold it tight. He got closer and put his head on my chest."So, you are the moon," he didn't stay own and flirted back, "there are a lot of others like me out there. But there is nothing that can replace you.""so, you are my sunshine." I tried to get rid of his answers."And if you're ever feeling lonely just look at the moon.Someone, somewhere, is looking right at it too."
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 13
Collections: HAIKYU, haikyuu sad fics, really good fics (multifandom) mainly haikyu thi





	When my sunshine got dark (please let me be your moon)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LittleLuxray](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLuxray/gifts), [cosmogony](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmogony/gifts), [DanaiaCake](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanaiaCake/gifts), [messaesthetic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/messaesthetic/gifts).



> So I read those fanfics on Haikyuu: "the galaxy is endless (I thought we were too)", "3 heartbeats", "Oikawa last wishes", "under the LED light" and "In another life" and I soooooo got jealous that they made me cry, so here my trying to make you cry back. also, I fell in love with (that punctuation mark) thanks to the writer of this KuroKen sad fanfic. I wrote this for 11 days.  
> hope you will find (and like) it, grab some tissues to the end, and read.  
> try me, it will be worth it

_"Knights always save people."  
"What is happening when they are not strong enough?"  
"Even when they fail they are still knights."_

That wasn't the first day that I got into the high school sport court. It was the last day of my first year at high school, but I still felt the excitement of the close training with my little orange partner. I smiled all over the way my unknown smile when my lips go up a little. Most of the time I heard Hinata throws a salty mention like "Kageyama! Your smile is really scary!" but now, when the only thing that was around me is the light wind of the morning, I just smiled.

It was the last day of graduation. Sugawara, Daichi, and Asahi still didn't quit the team, but it only meant that today will be the last day we will play together. When I finally walked inside the building, I saw Hinata who starts to set up the gym.

"Hi, do you need any help?" I got closed and took one side of the net from the tiny boy.

"Good morning Kageyama. I really don't understand why must we take the net off every day if we are the first peoples that get into here every morning," he said and a little yawning ran out from his mouth. "You're right sometimes" I hang the net and waited for Hinata to finish his side. Once I tried to help him, but he just got depressed so I let him jump his way on the little things.

"Baka, I got a B in my last English test, you know."

"Thanks for Yachi."

"It's not like you any better." He finished the work and walked to bring some balls until the rest of us will be shown. Little dark marks under his eyes got my attention.

"Did you sleep fine?"

"Just the excitement." He threw me one of the balls and started to run for hurting my set without any warning, and I set it perfectly, like always. I know, I wanted to say, it is so you to stay awake all the night because of the close parting from our volleyball's senpais.

"You are such a baby," I felt the guilty words hurt him, "and we still didn't change our clothes."

"Yeah, don't get your school clothes to smell bad on the last day of the year." Tsukishima got into the gym with Yamaguchi next to him.

"It's not like you can smell any better," he told with his salty tone and got hurt on his head back from a morning newspaper.

"You're really the oldest person in this team." Tanaka and Nishinoya started to laugh at Daichi who holds the newspaper.

"oh, I was waiting for you guys. I already set the gym for the practice." Hinata ran into the group with a ball under his armpit.

"it doesn't matter, because, today, we are not going to play," Sugawara said and sat down on the floor. "I didn't want to sweat before graduation, so I brought us a nice game."

After a few minutes, even Tsukishima set down on the gym floor and took five cards like the rest, and waited for Sugawara's explanation on the game.

"So, this game calls 'link' and it goes like that, every time someone should close his eyes while we open one round card, after that, every one of us should put down the most matching sentence from his cards to the word we have.

"oh, I got it, it means that if Tanaka were shut his eyes and the card was 'Shimizu' we all put sentences with adoring goals, like 'angel' or 'life in heaven'," Ennoshita told in a laugh and Nishinoya squeezed his eyebrows.

"Couldn't you give this example with me instead?" and everyone rolled their eyes.

"Should we start already?" Yamaguchi asked and Hinata grinned in expectation.  
Asahi was the first one to cover his eyes. His word card was 'Tattoos'.  
I put down one of my cards and waited until everyone will finish to put theirs. In the end, we had eleven cards, from everyone that came except Asahi. Hinata tried to read them so I moved a little so I could see only part of them.  
There was, "No, thanks", and also, "Courage", "I have no idea", "Redline", "What will I get from this?", "Kids game" and one that I am sure which catch everyone's eyes, " The mistake of my life".

"should I choose one of them now?" Asahi asked and scratched the back of his neck, everyone looked and waited for his choice.  
"I think that the first thinking about the word tattoos is 'red line'." He laughed a little, "but who put the last card?" he asked and put up the worrying card.

"oh, it is me," Yamaguchi mumbled. "I made one of the artists here to do me one after my 15-age birthday."

"what the hell Yamaguchi? Why didn't you tell me that?" Tsukishima looked shook and I tried not to laugh at him.

"It's nothing, lets continue in the game, who chose the 'red line' card?"

"oh, me!" Hinata got his back forward and shut his eyes. The next card was "Partners", so I put my "sweet and sour" card down and watched everyone do the same.

"I can swear that Tsukishima put the 'sticky' card" Tanaka pat Tsukishima's back and Nishinoya joined his bullies.

"And that's why I don't adore you" The blond hair boy rolled his eyes and looked on the other cards.

"Who put the sweet and sour card? I really like this card, I'm choosing it." Hinata got into their words, it seems like he thought hard about the game. I don't know why but I really became happy that he chose me.

"it's me," I told, and we continued the game. There were some more rounds until the bell rang for telling us to go to our classes and Ennoshita won with 5 chosen cards.

"hey, guys, we wouldn't be able to see you afterward so, we should say goodbye now".

In some moments everyone around me started to tear, full of excitement from the parting like Hinata did, so I let myself relax and feel the sadness too.

Hinata was so childish when he cried to Sugawara, but somehow, I thought it was cute.

"Sugamama!!" Hinata cried into Suga's hug. He didn't try to hide anything.

"Stop cry little boy, you should be a great kid to your real mom, and remember, Don't let the two of them," Suga stopped and looked at Nishinoya and Tanaka, "to make you do the wrong things."

"Now, we should go to celebrate our last time at school!" Sugawara got away from Hinata, took the other third years' hands, and walked out of the gym.

"Suga!" Hinata stopped and shouted after the grey hair boy who rounds his head over his called name, "I want you to set for me one more time! To feel you on the court!" Hinata shouted and grinned when Sugawara smiled back.

"Sure, I promise to set for you one day."  
And that's all, they just went to their daily events.

"Kageyama, do you want to come with us to the first year's classes or you are going to stay here forever?" Hinata already jumped in his place next to Yamaguchi and waited for me to join the three of them.

"I'm coming," I rolled my eyes and pasted their steps.

After the finish of this day, I didn't see Hinata for the whole vacation because I got invited to the champion volleyball camp of our age. We didn't text a lot, maybe because I didn't do any trying to make us more than partners. So, the first day of school was full of excitement. I am finally going to see my human tangerine. I woke up without any thought and came out early in the morning. It still wasn't 8:00 am when I ran forward the big doors of the gym, knowing that Hinata might be there already.  
I missed the sets for him during the vacation. Even that I played with the best spikers in the Olympic camp, nothing was like the ball which fly over the air to Hinata's palm and shut with his 'Bam!' screams.

"Hi, what do you do here so early?" Hinata settled the gym like the last day we met. It seems he grew a little, maybe even got higher, but I didn't say anything except the "good morning" the situation asked for.

"How was the camp anyway?"

"Fine, but I missed our attacks" I smiled and for the first time he didn't tell anything salty. Something about the way he talked to me got different too.

"so, I guess you came to set for me at 8:00 am. I just finished settling the gym for the first practice of the year."

And then, just like some months ago, he threw me the ball and start to run over the net.

My perfect set

His perfect spike

Our special attack was the perfect hi I could get for the first day of the coming back.

* * *

It was our first science lesson together this year and for some stupid reason, the teacher put us, the two idiots of the class, together as a couple.

"Today we are going to do an experiment and find out our blood type." And he started to explain the assignment. "you are going to stab a little needle in your finger, put some blood in your tray and trickle down some of Anti-B antiserum to each dimple in the second row and record your observations, also in tray 2. If you're not sure of a result, add another drop of Anti-B antiserum. Use your results to conclude how each blood type (O, A, B, and AB) reacts to the antibodies. Take a clean dimple tray and test the victims' blood using the same method. Record your observations in tray 3. Use your results to assign the correct blood type to each one."  
I didn't understand so much from the explain so I just looked at the focus Hinata that was in front of me. He bent on our desk and explore the experiment paper we got.

"So, I need to stab you now?" he looked over me and I understand he is catching me staring at him.

"oh, yeah, I guess" I tried to get rid of the embarrassment I felt, "-wait, I, you are not going to stab me!!" I got away and looked at him like he is crazy.

"ok, well, so stab yourself." He pulled his shoulders and held out for me one from the needles.

"no! Kageyama baka! You shouldn't stab it so hard!" he ran his hand to me and pull the needle out of my skin. I didn't know why but he put my bloody finger between his lips.

"what are you doing?" I pulled my finger our and all my face got red.

"I'm so so sorry, it was just a bad habit." He stuttered.

"what? To suck blood? Are you a vampire?" I laughed. The teacher gave us a bad look of 'come back to work already you two idiots' so I just put my finger on the tray to leave there some blood and hold out a new needle for him to take his blood. We work in silence for the rest of the experiment but in the end, when we both got our results, he asked.

"so, which type of blood have you big black head of I don't know enough words to bully you?" he asked and I laughed.

"Mine it is O, what about yours?" I looked over his big messy part of the desk and back over him.

"Mine also O, I can't believe I have to share the same blood type as you." He rubbed his hand against his hair.

"Yeah, the king of the volleyball court."

* * *

Some weeks past and the winter nationals got close. We were in the gym after noon-practice when Takagi sensei got into the room and announced to us about close matching games against Nekoma's volleyball club.

"Oh! that sounds awesome!!" Nishinoya jumped around and Shoyo got into the excitement too.

"How did we get there? In the bus like last year?" Yamaguchi asked. I hoped a little that it won't be too long, I wanted to come back and practice some new sets' styles that might help us in the close nationals.

"Yes, but we are going to stay there for the whole weekend so please pack enough clothes to avoid getting stuck lots of km from our county." Ukai got into the conversation and laugh like an old man.

"Well, when would we go?" I asked.

"At the close weekends, which means two days from now. So just remember to take exit confirmation form for your parents before you left the gym."

When I got home my parents waited for me next to the table to prepare lunch.

"Mom, dad, you know that I eat right after practice. You don't need to wait for me like that." I threw my bag on the floor and sat in front of them.

"I just thought it will be nice to talk to you a little sometimes, is there something wrong with that?"

"no, thanks, mom." I took some food over my plate and started to eat. They liked to ask me about my life when they don't have anything urgent to do. I didn't like it this much because they expect me to be friendly and popular like they were my age, not the sour and sweat volleyball freak I am.

"How was your day in school?" my dad started with the questions.

"Fine," I answered a not binding answer and continued at my eating.

"How was the practice?"

"Fine, I guess, I succussed some new set styles." I loved when they asked me about my hobbies, but that never came before something grateful.

"If it's just fine you should quit, you know. Hobbies can't help you in the future."

"I had ordered to the Olympic camp, I thought we talked about it already… anyway, I just came to asked you to sign on the soon matching game's paper," I said with a full rice mouth and came up to bring the form.

"First, don't speak with a full mouth. Second, sat down. We are in the middle of the meal." My dad commanded on me and ן suffocated a little from the hard in his voice.

"Do you see? That's what happened when you don't listen to me. Now, when would your game be?"

"In the soon weekend," I said and watched over my mom. She was quite and that was weird, so I thought that maybe she is going to hit me with an unexpected question like the one she asked.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" she asked without any warning.

"No, and I don't need one." I finished my food and stood up to put my dish in the sink.

"Come to take ours too, and, if you don't have any girlfriend so why do you come home in late hours?" I wanted to shout 'is 5:00 pm is late for you??' but I knew it won't get any better, so I just answered the truth.

"I am hanging out with one of my teammates." I started to wash all the dirty dishes which threw in the sink.

"Do you talk about this Hinata? I checked for him and I found out he isn't a good student. His grades are terrible, did he is the reason for your low grades?" he started to make me lose my control. I just wanted to get out of there, so I focused on the cold water instead of his speaking.

"Yes, it is, and he isn't the reason for my grades I am just not so good at school, I always did so. He is a best friend of mine." I asked him to come back from his words without saying anything, and the answer already was clear.

"you know, you are really hanging out a lot together. Are you dating and you didn't tell us?" my mom started to panic, "I can't believe my son is a homosexual, what did I do wrong? Why do you have to everything to give us shame?!" she was so close to the screams I wanted to avoid. A cup I handed fell to the sink and I walked back to face my mom.

"I didn't tell anything like that!! I am not gay, okay?! Can you just sign on my form and let me go now?!" my voice went up some tones. It seems they thought I got offended because they didn't say anything about the cup that fell. After that, the sign was really easy to get, without anymore talks about quits. It was for them an apologizing gift about the gay thing.

But the truth still was that I am so gay. Because I'm in love with my best friend while earning homophobic parents. Then I went upstairs and open my phone to take some of my chests off like always, with Tadashi Yamaguchi.

The weekend came fast than I expected it to be. Our bags waited in the bus's trunk while we slept on the soft seats.

"Hinata boke!! stop rarer on my clothes!" I fought with the little orange boy and got far from his sleepy mood.

"fine! I'll just sleep on someone else!" he turned his back on me and opened up his seat belt.

"no! boke! You can't stand in the middle of the drive!" I pounced on his belt and clicked it back, "and never mind! Sleep on me!" I put his head on me in a little aggressive act, but it seems it's fine with him.

"shut up you two!!" Tsukishima threw us a shout and from a little looking over, I could see his and Yamaguchi's hands holding on each other. It was really cute to see them like that, and a little guilty and jealous feeling took control of me.

"I am going to put a head on you too," I said forward the half-asleep Hinata and put my head on his hair. Some orange hairs tickled my cheeks, but I ignored them and closed my eyes before I fell asleep on him too.

When we arrived in Tokyo I woke up to a shouting question.

"where is the Tokyo tower??" Hinata's voice flow in the air and Tsukishima started to laugh.

"you already asked it the last time we were here! Do you still can't recognize him??" I called and pulled his hair a little.

"oh, Kageyama! Stop hurting me!"

"stop shout already! We have just five minutes" I rubbed my face with my hands to get rid of the sleepy mood and yawning ran out from my mouth.

When we finally got to Nekoma's park the red team was waiting for us on the sidewalk. At the moment that the bus's door opened, Hinata ran out and hugged Kenma who was playing something on his phone.

"Hey, Shoyo" I looked over the pudding hair boy who continued to play his game while ignoring my little orange boy. The last of us got down from the bus with a messy look and sleepy yawning from the long drive.

"I will lead you for your rooms," Lev smiled forward us and waited for us to take our bags and come after him.

"They here now, can I go home already?" Kenma asked without a head up from his game.

"Please, be polite." One of the team members pulled him to the side, might for reprimanding him.

"I guess you aren't so happy to meet us without your big rooster, it's not the hey I expected to get." Tsukishima mocked Kenma and Yamaguchi pulled his sleeve and a little apology slipped out from Tsukishima's mouth.

"Just, let go to our rooms, boys." The coach Ukai called us to come after him and Hinata came back to us.

"it's yours." I handed Hinata's bag to him and we walked next to each other after the rest of the team.

When we woke up in the morning I tried to get remember what we are doing at the class on Saturday morning and why did we slept on it for a second before I recognized that I'm in Nekoma's school. We slept on the classes to save some money, so the school ring woke the rest of us who still were sleeping.

"Why did the bell rings on Saturday here?" Tsukishima sighed while grumbling.

"Yams, you and Tsukishima are always so closed. Don't you scared of what others would say?" Hinata's question surprised all of us.

"what are you meaning? I like to be with Tsukishima, so here I am, it is very simple." Yamaguchi answered and raised his eyebrows.

"but he got a point, did you see how those two fell asleep?" Tanaka got into Hinata's words.

"Yeah, right, you were hugging each other all over the night," Nishinoya added some words of himself.

"do you have a problem with that?" Tsukishima asked angrily and stood up.

"Tadashi let's get ready for the matching game." He took Yamaguchi's hand and pull him up.

"you have to stop bullying the other teammates." Ennoshita reproved the two seconds' year members.

The game was awesome like always, just a little bit sad without our old teammates. Hinata spiked my sets perfectly, Tsukishima's blocks worked great, Yamaguchi's serves got better, and the other teammates also did well. In the final, we won the third set with a score of 25: 22. I expected the game to be harder, but it seems like the loss of their captain and libero influenced a lot of the cats.

"You played good Shoyo." Kenma sighed after the end of the game. He looked tired than I remembered from the last games of our two teams.

"Thanks, you are too." Hinata wiped some sweat from his forehead.

"you all guys worked out hard," our teams' coaches came to praised us, and smiles appeared on all of our faces.

The next time we all were hanging up together was at the night. Tanaka gave the idea we will sleepover in one of the houses of Nekoma's members. Lev said that his parents aren't home so it will be fine if we will be in his place.

"hey Kenma," I heard Hinata talking to the playboy.

"what is it?" Kenma asked back.

"How are you doing without Kurro? I remember that you started dating a little before he graduated…" Hinata asked and everyone got close to the two boys.

"Kenma? do you sure you want to answer that?" Lev's voice was worried.

"yeah, Lev, it's fine. I just miss him. One more year and we would be together, I am not going to braked down just because I can't meet him properly for one whole year." Kenma rolled his eyes and put back his head forward his red phone.

"Now, who wants to play truth or dare?" Tanaka ran into the group with a glass bottle, "I found that Russian empty wine bottle."

"Don't touch in the closets of the kitchen!! My parents are very obsessive about their Russian stuff." Lev said quickly.

"so, we can't play truth or dare?" Nishinoya sounded disappointed.

"yes, we can, but please don't touch there again." Lev sighed and we all sat in a circle. Hinata was next to Yamaguchi who was next to me, and Tsukishima was on my other side. Ennoshita related the buttle first.

"truth or dare?" Ennoshita asked Tsukishima.

"dare," Tsukishima answered condescendingly.

"good, I am daring you to kiss the closest person to you," Ennoshita giggled and laughed.

"Omg!! I didn't know you can be like that! You are so flowing more that Daichi!!" Tanaka pat hardly to Ennoshita's back. I looked on Yamaguchi to check his response to Tsukishima's dare. He looks a little depressed.

"that's easy," Tsukishima laughed and push me back so he could grab Yamaguchi's face and kiss him.

"he is the closest person to me." Tsukishima smiled and came back to his place.

"You are good" some of Nekoma's members laughed.

"hey, Kageyama," Yamaguchi asked when I came back to my place, "can I sit next to Tsukki?"

"I don't care," I pulled at my shoulders and Yamaguchi grinned.

"Should we continue now?" Yamamoto took the buttle to spin it, but Yamaguchi touched his hand and stopped it.

"No." Yamaguchi became red when he talked.

"I want to tell you."

"what?" Kenma surprised all of us and asked first.

"I want to tell them." He turned to face Tsukishima.

"it's fine, he just wanted to tell you we are dating," Tsukishima said without replacing his expression except for a little smile that stretched over his face.

After the finish of the game, Hinata walked with Yamaguchi and Kenma far from my eyes. I wanted to follow them, but I knew it will be weird, so I laid my head to catch my night sleeping.

"so, how are you? For real now though." Yamaguchi asked Kenma.

"I am really missing him, I lived half of my life when he was right by my side and it so hard for me to pass the days without my best friend." Kenma left his games and tears flew up from his eyes.

"but it is just a year, so I can't cry like that, not when I know we have a whole life after." He buried his face in his palms.

"Please, let's talk about you instead of about that." His low lip trembled slightly.

"fine, what with you and Kageyama?" Yamaguchi turned to Hinata.

"well, like always. It's not like he likes me back." Hinata pulled his shoulders up and down and smiled forward Yamaguchi, "but it is great you and Tsukishima dating."

"thanks. But it will be fine if you just tell him." Yamaguchi answered back.

"I am sure he is right Shoyo, how can he not like you back? You are his volleyball partner. The most terrible thing that could happen it's that you two will stay away from each other for some days. He will miss your spikes like you will miss his sets." Kenma yawned and put his head down on the soft blanket which laid on the floor.

* * *

It was some weeks later when my phone blew up with notifications that took me some steps right. It was after midnight and I still couldn't fall asleep.

*new texts message from Karasuno group chat*

The light from my phone caught my attention. I rolled to my bedroom dresser and took my phone to check the messages.

*Text message from "Karasuno"*

Tanaka: guys, Hinata got drunk!!

Nishinoya: OMG I told you not to tell them!

Kageyama: what are all the nonfictions for?

Ennoshita: Please, just take Hinata to his place and go to sleep.

Yamaguchi: Is Hinata drunk??

Kageyama: I can't believe you made him got drunk!! Do you ever going to grow up??

Yamaguchi: Where are you? I can come and take him to his place. We are living close to each other…

Kageyama: No! I will take him.

Yamaguchi: I don't think he wants you to see him drunk…

Kageyama: what is the difference between us both?

Tsukishima: Yamaguchi, you can't go anywhere, I am still lying next to you.

I threw my phone without any thought and searched for a jacket. It was cold outside, and I still didn't own a car, but I secured my shoes and ran out to Tanaka's place. I forgot about my phone, so I hang up in the hope Hinata is there. The little pray made me get remember Asahi and our other senpais, he missed them a lot, Hinata.

"Hey, I knew you're gonna come, where is the sweet smile to your senpais?" Tanaka waited for me out of the house, so I understood that I guessed the right home.

"Shut up, where is Shoyo?" his first name slept against my lips for the first time.

"Inside the house, waiting for you to take him."

"you better get far in the next time you have a stupid idea that connects to him," I said and walked after him while he opened the doors and led me forward to the messy room which must be his. Hinata was sitting down and leaned against the side of the bed.

"He is sleeping." Nishinoya faced me with a proud.

"You both are stupid. I really miss Suga and the others." I said while I put Hinata to my back.

"Why do you all so mean to us?" Nishinoya jumped from his place on Tanaka's bed.

"Oh, do you laugh at me? because you had to make my partner drunk and end without any responsibility."

"I guess you are gonna go now…" Tanaka yawned, laid on his bed, and watched me when I went to the cold night air to take care of my little tangerine. When did I start to call him that at all? When did I start to fall in love with you? Tell me, Hinata. Why do I want to call you Shoyo?

When I rang on his house bell all over my body was cold, probably because that I put my jacket on Hinata without put attention. His mom opened the door in a tired look.

"What do you do here?"

"I found it right to bring him here, I will just lay hi, on his bed and go." I wanted to tell her enough to make her trust in me.

"All right, come in" she was tired enough to just walking back and letting me get into the house. I knew where his room is, so I just walk in and put him gently on his bed. When I looked at him while he was sleeping, he was so peaceful, charming. I never understand how I became from such a bully to a simp for him. I absolutely would ask him out if just my parents weren't homophobic. I didn't want them to hate him, not when he is my volleyball partner, maybe he will fall in love with me, or maybe he already is, but I won't get the chance to check it out. I just wanted to watch him as much as I can too.

"I love you, stupid orange head," I said to the air before I got out of his room and came back forward my home.

* * *

**Bystander pov**

On the next day, Hinata didn't go to the practice. He wanted to get away from Kageyama. why did he have to be the one that so him in the drank situation? The one that he loves? It was so unlucky of him.

"Hinata, are you okay?" His little sister asked with her worried expression.  
"Of course, Natsu" he smiled forward her and decided to go to school afterward to delate this night from his mom's head. He didn't know the whole story about last night, but from the messages in Karasuno's group chat, he could understand that he got drunk at Tanaka's place and that Kageyama was the one to return him. The last thing he remembered was the challenge his senpais gave to him.

"Confess to Kageyama," Tanaka and Nishinoya told him after they made him drink some cups of alcohol.

"I don't want to do that".

"it doesn't matter. If you won't do that we are going to give him all of your love letters."

"you can not believe what we are saying, but it will be your problem. try us."

He didn't understand how people he so adored can charge him to do personal things like that. He really wanted to talk to Kageyama about that thing, but he got worried from the thought he already did while Kageyama brought him home.

"I prefer the life of the sunshine everyone thinks I am" he breezed out some cold air and walked out from his house at 8:30 am for the first time of his life. He didn't care if he will be late, he wanted to run away from every contact with the high black boy who likes to bully him.

"Kageyama baka" he mumbled, "why didn't you let Yamaguchi come found me instead?"

The day went quickly. Hinata didn't come to the practice in the afternoon too. He didn't want to be at home a lot of time so after he came back home he went on a very long walk. He stopped in front of the convince store when he saw Kageyama buying some milk. He didn't catch the black hair boy's attention, so he stayed to sit here, watching the passing people.

It was almost 11:00 pm when Yamaguchi found him there.

"what are you doing out here?" Yamaguchi stopped in the middle of his running and sat next to Hinata.

"I just thought about Kageyama," Hinata whispered.

"what about him?" Yamaguchi asked.

"I just thought that I need to confess. It isn't that I don't want to, I am just afraid that he will not love me back, and it will get weird between us." Hinata ate his low lip.

"it will be okay, just try it. I will be here if it goes wrong." Yamaguchi squeezed Hinata's hand, "I confessed to Tsukki and here we are." A smile went on Yamaguchi's face. Like magic, Tsukishima appeared in front of the talking boys.

"Yams, where were you been?! I thought you said you will be here more than two minutes and it's already half an hour later" Tsukishima grabbed Yamaguchi's hand and looked between them both.

"Did you planned to stay here until you are coming back home? You know, I could wait for you for some good hours. Do you know how I got worried when the time passed, and you didn't arrive yet??" Tsukishima yelled at Yamaguchi and curious looks turned forward us.

"Tsukki! Stop to shout, please. I'm sorry." Yamaguchi pulled Tsukishima's hand closer to himself.

"I just got worried, because he didn't come to the practice today."

"Hinata, do me a favor and just go to confess. I don't care about your private life and I don't want your own good, but don't drug my boyfriend into your problems. Confess to Kageyama for he could stop worried about you and focus me instead".

"Tsukki, stop being so mean to him!" Yamaguchi returned angrily.

"But I right though! You all are just waiting for him to confess to Kageyama!!" Tsukishima pulled Yamaguchi for standing.

"Please stop yelling! Do you don't own any heart??" Yamaguchi yelled back.

"Are you okay?" some adults asked and they both just ignored them.

"if you can't let me help for a friend, I won't stay with you!!"

"I don't want to fight, Yamaguchi, I'm sorry, I just really wanted you to come to me, you can help him. I'll wait to see you at school," and with that Tsukishima gone away.

"do you fine?" Hinata asked the crying boy who left next to him.

"I do," Yamaguchi lied and rubbed his face in his palms, "it is his problem if he can't let me help you" and with that, he started to cry in the middle of the street.

"hey, it will be fine, Yamaguchi. I will confess to him tomorrow, alright? And then you shouldn't worry about me anymore…"

"fine," he sniffed, and his teary eyes shined under the streetlights. "But can I sleep at your house now? I don't want my mom to ask me questions about me coming back home."

"of course, I am here for you and always will be." Hinata hugged his friend and they walked home together.

The next day Hinata came to the practice as nothing happened, and to his surprise, the rest of the team didn't ask anything about him skipping practice. After the end of the practice, Hinata waited until everyone left so he and Kageyama will be alone.

"I love you, you know." He told without a warning.

"what do you mean?" Kageyama asked in confusion.

"if you are asking me to be your boyfriend, my answer is no." Kageyama couldn't control the words that rolled out from his mouth.

"oh, it is fine – it means, I, I didn't expect to, for, anything. It just slipped out. Don't think about it too hard." Hinata started to stutter. They ignored each other from that moment, just like Hinata afraid it will be.

In the lunch break, he went over to Yamaguchi and talked without any thought.

"Kageyama rejected me, you know." He told immediately.

"His parents are homophobic, so I am not surprised, but he really likes you though." Yamaguchi still didn't talk to Tsukishima and his red eyes were really prominent.

"So why did you tell me it will be fine?"

"I just thought he will let himself down a little from his parents' expects if you will ask him to date." Yamaguchi pulled in his shoulders. Tsukishima sat some meters far from the boys and they just stared at each other.

"I would ask you how you know that Kageyama likes me, but I guess you better talk with your boy," Hinata mumbled and Yamaguchi started to cry from Tsukishima's looks.

"You are really a bigger baby than I am," Hinata smiled and walked away to clear the way for Tsukishima and Yamaguchi to talk.

* * *

**Back to Kageyama's pov**

"I don't know why these words got out from my mouth, help me, I really want to date him. I can't think about him losing his love for me." I spilled my words out of my mouth. Hinata didn't come again for practice so asked them all to help me make up with him.

"I am really don't know how I can confess to him after rejected him, and I also don't want to take the time."

"don't forget your parents, where are you going to go after they will found out about your sexuality?" Ennoshita asked seriously.

"I guess I will find someplace to sleep at night. Maybe if Hinata will forgive me I could stay over his place for the first night." I put my hand in my hair and rubbed it.

"I am just don't know how to make it happen."

"do you know to play guitar?" Yamaguchi looked at me with his big red eyes, trying to help. I felt a little guilty that I am making him stay here like that.

"yes, why?" I asked back.

"so maybe you can come in front of his house and sing him something like, 'ken and barbie' of Kate Gill. Do you know the song?" Yamaguchi's hand searched for Tsukishima's while talking, and the other one caught it strongly.

"yes, I know this song. It fits you perfectly." Nishinoya grinned and I felt that my angry from the time Hinata got drank gone now when they all are trying to help me.

"ok, so I'll learn to play it," I said and came to stand up.

"wait, when do you want to do it?" Tanaka asked. "I want to be there."

"We all are gonna come." I wanted to hug them all for their support, but it was weird to see me like that, so I content in a thank.

"I really appreciate your help guys, thank you very much!!" and with that, we went to our homes.

This time, when I saw my parents who waited for me next to the table, I didn't sit with them.

"why don't you put down your bag?" they asked in worrying.

"I have something that I need to tell." I breathed deeply before I continued.

"what is it?" my dad raised his eyebrows.

"I like a boy" I threw the bomb and waited for their reaction.

"No, you don't! You can't be HOMO!! You are OUR child!! The son of two HEALTHY parents!!

"I am, dad, you can't change who I am. I don't want to be changed at all." I called out loud.

"I told you we should send him to a psychiatrist, but you didn't listen to me!! If he is the devil's son so what I am??" my mom started to panic, and I ran upstairs to take my guitar.

"where are you going???" my dad shouted at me after I got down the stairs.

"to make up with my best friend!!" I shouted back.

"I told you, you are not gay!!" he threw the table's vase forward to me and I took my guitar first automatically. The glass breaks' voices filled the air and I looked at him shocked.

"Are you crazy???" I screamed at him.

"ARE YOU CRAZY????" he screamed back towards me. I checked my guitar and saw it was scratched. He could ruin my chance to fix my relationship with Hinata.

"I just hate you all!!! I have the most terrible parents in the world!!" I snatched my bag from the floor and ran out the door with it and my wounded guitar.

The first place I went was the park. I sat on a bench and texted my teammates how I am doing.

*One message from Kageyama to Yamaguchi, Ennoshita, Tanka, Nishinoya, and more*

Kageyama: I told them. I'll go to Hinata's place at 7:00 pm. Thank you again for the support.

After that, I opened the "ken and barbie" song's chords on my phone and started to learn how to play them. Yamaguchi was right, this song's words fit me perfectly.  
After a lot of time of waiting for time to go while practicing my confession.

*one new message from Yamaguchi*

Yamaguchi: I'm on my way with Tsukki, we have a surprise for you to after the confession.

*one message sent from Kageyama to Yamaguchi*

Kageyama: Ok, I'll get out to the way now.

I got out from the bench, loaded my schoolbag on my back, and put up the guitar. I refrained from running because of the excitement that held on me.

All the team waited for me there already, with appreciative looks on their faces.

"has Hinata not got out of the house yet?" I asked with a nervous voice.

"just start to sing already." Yamaguchi smiled at him.

"Breath deep," I whispered to myself before I gave my first fret on the guitar strings.

And I started.

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvBo2CzzR9M>

"Two little boys,  
Met each other on the playground.  
Just like the rest,  
didn't stick out from the crowd.  
But between themselves,  
they knew that they were different.  
But they pushed it down,  
Cause nobody would even listen."

When I finished the first section of the song, Hinata finally came out from the house. He looked at me in confusion. And I smiled forward him and came back to the song.

"Their parents always saying, Boy when you grow up.  
You're gonna find a nice lady, make sure you act tough.  
You'll be living a life like Barbie and Ken.  
C'mon suck it up and, Forget this nonsense."

"What if he wants Ken, not Barbie?  
Why should he have to say sorry?  
Tell me do you even listen?  
To all the dumb shit you're slipping?"

I put my eyes back and caught my parents in the side of my look, but I ignored them and created eye contact with Hinata, my little orange partner.

"We can love who we want to, don't say he's not supposed to…  
If he loves Ken not Barbie, He doesn't have to say sorry, to you…"

In that night I slept in his house. It was rainy outside and the black-blue sky didn't show any star.  
But I like him. My star. And I shouldn't give up on him for anyone or anything. Not anymore.

"Kageyama, can we do something?" His voice tickled my ear and I looked up at him from my place on the floor. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable, so I slept on a thin sleeping bag.

"Yes, Hinata?" I said his name just to taste it a little more.

"I just, always wanted to hear us say it on the reality, so, I know that this is weird, but," he mumbled in an embarrassment

"What is it?"

"Can we pretend to get married? Like in the movies?  
I will record us."

"Oh, fine" I smiled, but promise me to say it one more time."

"Promise," he grinned and got out of bed to get closer to me. We sat on the floor in front of each other while our knees touched a little. Hinata took his phone and start to record us.

"So, amm, Kageyama Tobio. Do you take me, Hinata Shoyo, to be for your husband and to take care of in sickness and war, until the dead will apart us?" He sniffed and raised his head towards me, his eyes connect to mine.

"Yes, I do" I mumbled"

"and do you, Hinata Shoyo, takes me, Kageyama Tobio, to be your husband and to take care of in sickness and war until the dead will apart us?"

"Yes, I do" Hinata's eyes sparkled when he said those words. Somehow his hands caught my shirt collar and pull me closer. His face was red a little when he whispered towards me.

"Kiss me."

And that was the first time my lips fell against someone else's lips. Some thin tears fell from my eyes without I could control them.

"I love you, and I am so sorry I didn't say anything, that I rejected you, I'm so so sorry" I felt his short arms wrapping around me and his warning relaxing me.

"Send me the record," I said before we fell asleep. In the final we slept together in my tiny sleeping bag, just to be closed to each other, and that how we got together...

* * *

It was some years later. Hinata and Kageyama were already 23 years old, in the middle of their university life.

"I still can't believe this university took us both to its volleyball team. I was sure I will need to quit volleyball this time." Hinata laughed while he was setting up the new plates they just bought.

"you better not break any dish this time. It's already the third time we should buy some and we are only two peoples who live together." I told to my partner.

"don't you late for your work?" he asked, and I rolled my eyes.

"I guess I'm gonna be late in something like five minutes."

"you should leave me the rest of the chores, just get out for work."

"Okay, I am leaving the cups on the small box so you can go from now."

"good," he went to the freezer and got out a loaf of bread and a little yogurt for me.

"take it for breakfast," he told me before he came back to the dishes.

"I still want my good morning kiss" I giggled and got closer to him. he smiled and got up on his toes to give me a little kiss.

"Now get out of here," he pushed me out from our apartment and closed the door with a smile.

"I love you!" I called while walking down the stairs.

"love you two!" he called me back and my little smile showed up until I got to my work. I teach chemistry, I don't know even how I got into this subject. if one of my students looked at my high-school grades he wouldn't believe how I become a doctor, but that helped me to continue playing volleyball without worried about the money, or Hinata's. He didn't work at any job. Everyone looked at him as a messy person, too much energy, go he didn't find a job. So, he did our home chorus instead.

This day was our sixth anniversary already, but we never planned anything special. We didn't put so much attention to this kind of days, we just had fun every time we could. But this time I planned to take him for a special day, I knew how much we wanted to play with our old team partners again, how much he wanted Suga's promise to come true, so I hoped my late for work won't take off my surprising day.

"hey, you are late. I didn't expect you to miss the morning coffee." one of my faculty members laughed.

"did you haven't started the lessons yet?" I asked and let down a very long breath that I didn't know I hold back.

"yes, you have some more minutes. Did you afraid from completion of hours today?"

"yeah, I planned something important." I smiled.

"so, I happy for you, that your plans didn't ruin." He winked and the ring stopped our talk and sent us to our classes.

The rest of the day ran fast, probably because of the excitement from the close date. I and Hinata got out a lot to hang out, but none of us ever tried to plan something special, except for our 18 birthdays.

When I finished my work, I called my old Karasuno teammates while driving the car.

"hey," Tanaka was the first one I called to.

"good afternoon," I blessed back. "I just wanted to know if you are on your way."

"yes. I, Nishinoya, and Ennoshita are driving to Karasuno high school already." He told me.

"good, I will call Suga too."

I said and ended the call. The call with Suga was the same. After I finished checking my time with the others I finally arrived home. Hinata waited for me on the sofa. He was watching some TV when I came in.

"How was your day?" he stood up when he saw me and walked to help me put down my stuff.

"Great, did you make any food?" I asked. he got up on his toes and plant a fast kiss on my lips before getting into the kitchen.

"We have some pasta from yesterday's dinner." He opened the fridge for searching for the wanted food.

"didn't you eat already? I told you to not wait for me, I am fine with eating alone." I came to help him search and he bent a little to let me take a look.

"but I don't like to eat alone. I wish I had a job too." He sighed and got far from the fridge.

"do you want to be a waiter?" I asked like a thousand times before.

"no, it is fine. Maybe we threw the pasta… do you want to cook a new pasta bag?" He rubbed his orange hair.

"No, we anyway should get out already. Are you ready?" I told him, forgetting I didn't talk about my plans yet.

"you didn't tell me we do something… I thought we are just watching some movies and cuddles like always."

"I wanted to surprise you. Now get ready, I don't want to late for a meeting I initiated."

"fine but eat something until I'll finish. See ya more five minutes." He bloomed a kiss towards me and walked forward our room.

"love you too," I called back and got out some bread to make us both sandwiches.

After he came back we went to my car. The drive wasn't too long. In the start, Hinata tried to squeeze from my mouth some words about the surprise, but he stopped when he understood I am not going to tell him anything yet. His eyes were shocking when I parked next to "Karasuno", our old high school.

"What did you plan?" he becomes more and more excited.

"Just get inside the gym." I rolled my eyes and locked the car. "sometimes you still listen like a kid who never grows up.

"Suga, Yams, what are you doing here??" Hinata looked at his old team members in surprise.

"I promised to set you someday and some milk boy called me for catching my free day from the job, so here I am." Suga winked and Hinata's face grinned. For a moment it looked like he never grew older. His eyes shined in the same way as seven years ago when we all played together.

"hey, freak volleyball, stop talk with us and go to change to your uniform already!" Tanaka patted Hinata's back and he ran to change his clothes.

"Just looking at him makes me miss the time I watched over you all." Daichi stretched.

"you still talk like an old man." Tsukishima giggled and everyone rolled their eyes or laughed.

"which anniversary you are celebrating?" Asahi was interested.

"our sixth," I said, and some proud tone snicked into my words.

"wow, it's a very long time."

"Yeah, I know. I didn't leave my parents for a silly relationship." I pulled at my shoulders and ignored the others' talks. Maybe I didn't get changed too much. I remember myself ignoring them like that years ago.

When Hinata came back to the gym we started to play. I and Hinata in different teams for Suga would set him. The net was already settled by the others who came before us. I liked the nostalgic feeling that I felt when I threw the ball to the air and waited for Tanaka to spike it instead of my new teammates. I and Hinata were in a team that plays just once a month. We both knew that I can be bigger, that my name is known enough for me to be on the Olympic teams. But I wanted to be where he is, and not anywhere else. It was the middle of the first set when Suga finally settled the ball forward Hinata. He ran and jumped like always, but after the jump, he folded, and the ball fell onto my hands.

"Are you okay??" I left the ball and ran over him. He nodded.

"Yes, I am fine, it just hurt me a little when I breathed too deep."

"Can you continue to play?" I hoped he will say no, but he wouldn't say no to volleyball.

"yes, stop being overreactive. Come back to your side of the net." He asked and straightened up.

More little mistakes like that continued to show up in the rest of the game. On the second set, Hinata barely spiked right one ball, and when he had, he finished with some coughs. He pretended to be happy with my plan, the game, the meeting, but I felt that he is a little bit off for his misses.

"you were awesome! I bet we could win the nationals again!!" He grinned while talking in excitement to our old senpais.

"you are too, Shoyo!! You jump some centimeters more than you did at high school!" Nishinoya shouted back like we never got far some years ago.

They continued to talk while I went outside to wait for the finish of this meet. I was worried about Hinata's health.

"hey, why did you wait outside?" Tsukishima got out after me and asked.

"from the same reason you did, I don't like to be around people," I told him back and he pulled his shoulders.

"I guess you are right. But I changed a lot from back then." He looked down.

"but still insult people?" I got out a cigarette and fired it.

"still." He laughed, "And what about you, still cold for your boy?"

"if kiss every time we met calls like that so yes. I really like him though."

"I feel you. It's like me and Tadashi." He looked at me in a judging way.

"did I do something?" I raised my eyebrows.

"no, I just didn't think you are the type of cigars. I hope you are not from the obsessive people."

"Thanks for worrying, but I am fine." I took a long Inhalation from the cigarette. We stayed silent until our boys got out of the gym.

"do you want us to come back home?" Yamaguchi asked Tsukishima.

"do you live together? That's great!" Tanaka patted Tsukishima's back, still aggressive like years ago.

"yes, we save some money for the university." Yamaguchi pulled his shoulders, "anyway, we will go now." He grabbed Tsukishima's hand and pulled him out from the social round.

"I think we all might go now, thank you a lot for the invite, I had fun." Suga came to say goodbye to the rest of the members.

"thank you for coming." I waved for them and watched everyone going.

"Why didn't you say goodbye to them?" I asked Hinata and pulled him close to me.

"I didn't want to, you know, I still don't like the known that everyone apart now." He looked down to the ground and the depression from the game covered his expression.

"let's go home now." I grabbed his hand and took him after me back to the car. He still was sleeping every time we finished the game, so I kept on quiet. When we arrived home I gently woke him up.

"do you want me to carry you?" I asked him.

"no, I'm already 23 you know." Hinata yawned and got out of the car.

"Yeah, I know. Do you want to take a shower first? I will check some tests until you will finish. Maybe I will cook the dinner today." I walked next to him and checked his face.

"Okay, but I don't want to take the time today. I need some cuddles." He mumbled and unlocked the house door.

"maybe you should work in a restaurant after all. A little job will help you to feel better." I told him like an old man.

"maybe, I will try to check again tomorrow." He came to kiss me before he left for the bathroom.

Sometimes I saw us as a real family when the mother comes to kiss the dad before he leaves for his work. The only thing that missing was the kids who run between the parents' legs.

Once I asked Hinata if we can adopt a baby, but he thought it won't be right for us to take his option for a better place to grow in, that he can't be a good parent, so I didn't raise the issue from then.

Until Hinata came back I finished all the tests I had to check in one of my classes. Most of the time I suffice more but for some reason, he took a short shower than usual.

"can you take a shower later?" he asked me when he came back.

"why? Did something happen?" I looked at his messy face.

"I'm feeling off." He said simply and came to sit next to me.

"fine." I pasted to the sofa and turned on the TV. Hinata came to sit next to me and choose a movie.

"do you want to talk?" I asked while covering his body with kisses.

"I didn't succeed to spike. My palm felt wrong. My chest hurts when I breathe deep. I didn't want to tell you, but I have a lot of shortness of breath lately. And I am so so tired, I sleep every time you go out. I can't it properly, I am so sick of myself." He started to shake.

"Why didn't you tell me?? We are going to check you now." I stood up and pull him up.

"no! I don't want to check it!" he shouted and slipped from me.

"I will be fine. I just want some cuddled now." He rubbed his hair and sat back on the sofa.

"Okay." I sat too. "I love you," I kissed him over and over again.

"I love you too," he whispered, "but you will get sick if you will stick to me like that."

"I don't care. I would never stop kissing you." I rubbed our foreheads and leaned my lips on his.

* * *

The next day Hinata stayed home. He didn't go to search for a job or anything else we planned to. I begged him to stay in bed and rest until he agreed. It went this way for the whole past week. Every day the coughs become worse. Hinata didn't eat a lot, and I really was worried about him.

"Hey, your throat feels bigger." It was the seventh night of our anniversary. I and Hinata lay down together while I planted a kiss on his throat.

"I know I said that the cuddles are my only way to feel something now, but you shouldn't try so hard." Hinata rolled his eyes.

"no, I'm serious. I think it Inflated a bit." I touched it with one of my fingers.

"Stop! It tickles." He started to laugh.

"Anyway, get far or you will get cold too." He tried to make me leave again.

"I don't want to. I think that something wrong. How could you get cold if the weather is hot?" I asked.

"Didn't you see the weather in the last days? It was cold…"

"You are like that for more than a week." The raising of his health made me worry again.

"Please, let's go check it tomorrow." I stroked his cheek.

"Fine." Hinata came closer and rubbed his head on my collar bone.

"I love you, Tobio." He said my first name.

"I love you too my little tangerine," I said back and kissed his forehead. "Good night." I hugged him tight before letting him fall asleep.

"Kageyama!! You will be late for work!!" Hinata woke up suddenly and looked in terrified on the clock.

"That's fine, I'm not going anyway today. But you're right, we should wake up already. I am taking you to the hospital, I want some doctor will check you out." I told him and got out of bed.

"So, I will get dress first. Let me make us breakfast too." Hinata told me and walked away. He kissed me when he came back to help me up.

"can you let me stay with the doctor alone? Go to buy something maybe. I don't want you to come with me. I will feel uncomfortable."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"yeah." He told me back and went outside to let me get ready.

When I finished we got out to the hospital. He wasn't objected like I thought he will, but on the other hand, he asked me to wait for him outside. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable, so I let him go to the doctor without me.

I waited for him in the car and tried to get some sleep. I hoped that I can stay up at night for planning my next lessons in my job. I was really worried about him, and I wished the doctor will give him some help.

It was some days later when the results came. I was in the middle of the third class of that day when my phone rang in a sudden. Most of the time I leave him in a quiet mood, but I still wasn't calm for Hinata who stayed alone.

"hey, did something wrong?" I got out of class and answered the call.

"Hey Kags, I'm sorry for bothering you, but the results from the hospital arrived. The doctor asked to see me. I was going alone, but I don't own a car yet." He sounded bad. I wanted to tell him he is not a burden, but I still was next to my students' class.

"No, it's better that I will come with you. I will get out right now." I didn't bother myself with coming back to the class to inform the students that I'm going. I just grabbed my bag for work and ran fast as I could to the car, like it is not weird to see the chemistry teacher ran in the corridors.

In seven minutes, I got into the house and threw things on the kitchen table.

"you came fast," Hinata called and stood up from the sofa.

"yeah, now come and get into the car," I told him and without any second got out.

"I didn't get any kiss, I miss you when you are outside so much time." He complained while coming fast after me.

"Hey, what are you doing when you are home?" I asked him after the drive started.

"I'm watching movies, read books, searching for a job online, sometimes play some video games. I really miss you when you are not here, it's more boring than when I was doing our arrangements."

"you don't have to find a job." I criticized him.

"but like you told me before, it can help." He smiled and put his head down to get some rest.

"you have cancer."

That was what the doctor open with when we finally met.

"what did you say?" I asked again. Hinata didn't look surprised, the doctor acted like this conversion isn't life-changing, so I wanted to hear it again, wishing it were just a mistake of my head.

"as I said, Hinata has cancer." He said to me and turned to Hinata who still looked peaceful.

"This is the prescription of the medicines you should take from now. If the situation gets worse come here. live how much you can while we will try to give you the longest life we can." The doctor's words sounded to me like some logo or slogan of some company and it pissed me off. I felt like crying, but how can I cry when he is still smiling for that stupid doctor?!

I asked him all of that when we came back to the car.

"How are you not freaking out?!?" I tried to not shout at him.

"I knew."  
That was all he said.

"What?"

"I found a list of lung cancer when I searched for help on the internet, that's why I didn't want to check it."

His answer made me so angry, but I just shut my mouth and tried to be appreciative of him telling me that.

* * *

On this night Hinata tried to sneak out of the house without waking me up. His soft body which got far woke me up immediately.

"What are you doing up so early?" I asked in confusion.

"I want to take some walk." He said like it is normal.

"At two am?? Are you sure??"

"I will come back more some minutes." He told me and got out in running. I ran after him, but until I caught his steps he already wasn't there. After some calls, I saw his phone which was left alone, and buried my face in worry.

"why do you have to do that to me?" I sighed and fell on the sofa, "just come back here already."

The sun already shined when Hinata came back to the house and watched me staring half asleep at the door.

"How did you stay awake? Oh, god, you're so cold. You shouldn't sleep here." He looked like me every day when I came back home and find him sleeping.

"did you come back already?" I yawned and rubbed my eyes to help them open.

"sound like I do." He sat next to me.

"you shouldn't sleep here." He put his hand on my cheek, "Should I get the advantage of your sleepy side?"

"What do you mean?" I asked and felt his lips falling against mine over and over again.

"I love you so much." He smiled and got himself some cuddles between my arms. From this night I didn't succeed to sleep like before from the fear he will leave again when I won't see him.

* * *

The next morning Hinata still was sleeping on the sofa.

"I need to go clean the house, the daily agenda when you are not home." Hinata jumped from me with a huge smile and started to search from the broom as nothing happened.

"don't push yourself too hard darling, I want you to rest." I yawned the sentence and walked over to the bathroom for brushing my teeth and washing my face.

"hey, Kageyama. I can't jump for the high shelf." He complained and I got out to check what was it for. He was trying to rich the highest shelf for taking the coffee jar.  
"I will take it down. Take the medicines we bought you yesterday for now." I flew up with my handsome wet hairs from the face washing and put it down. Every time he called me I thought that we are still calling one for the other in the last name. It felt more right like that.

"Thanks." He kissed my cheek and made us a coffee.

"you aren't going to the university today, right? You don't have to stay here." He asked like it was fine that I won't stay home a day after I found out my partner to life has cancer.

"But I want to, I talk to my boss and he understands the situation. Don't you want to have a whole day with me?"

"no, I'm just feeling bad for stuck you here." He handed me a cup of coffee and sat next to the kitchen table.

"We are more partners than lovers, don't you care about that?" I tried to get some honest answers but didn't get anything.

"I really like that cups." He changed the subject and watched me taking a sip from the coffee and sighed. He likes to buy stupid couples' things, like those matching cups with lovers' quotes.

"My sunshine." He read what was writing on his cup.

"My moon." He continued to read mine.

"I think it suits us well." He smiled like the first time he looked at the cups.

"I love you too. Do you prefer a movie or getting out?" I squeezed my lips forward him and he rolled his eyes.

"First, never do that thing with your lips," he laughed and it made me want to punch him.

"second, like I said before the coffee took my attention, I want to clean the apartment today." He rubbed the back of his neck and I sighed again.

"no, you are not doing that. I am here to feel you a little more and you want to clean?!" I stopped for a little, "and you can't clean here alone, I am worried about you getting hurt."

"Okay, but you let me clean here tomorrow." He sighed. I felt my face grins from the short trying to convince me I needed.

* * *

From then on, we had a new agenda. Every morning I woke up and made Hinata's breakfast before getting out for work. I quit the volleyball team but didn't tell anything to him. After that, he woke up and came with a little panic to ask for his morning kiss.  
I taught fewer classes for coming back home earlier than before. When I got into the house Hinata was asking for lunch. He stopped to make them by himself and ate what I made. I don't think it because it is hard for him, I think that he wanted more things that come from me. Every night he was asking some deep and stupid questions and waiting for me to talk. He appreciated every talk about my job or the supermarket for shopping.  
It was one of these nights when he asked me suddenly some weird thoughts, trying to share what was going on in his head with me.

"Kags, you know? I thought about it and in every couple, we know it's clear who was taken over and who is the one the world still needs. It's like, you know, I can see Kurro left Kenma heartbroken because he such a good person so the world should take him back. But you, you better stay alive because you have so a big name in the world. It means that's fine that I'll go if you, the better half, stays here."

"What do you mean? No one deserves to die. Also, do you think that Kurro better that he should be taken, and I don't?" I teased him to head him far from these thoughts, but he stayed serious.

"Not, just I'm the kinky one from us. you can survive without me, but you are all of my worlds so I wouldn't stand in a world without you."

"You are my star, my only star" I hold his face tight in my palms, charging his eyes to make a connection with mine.

"Don't say you deserve to die, I love you."

"Don't say stupid things." He coughed a little and I got far to let him breathe better.

"you know that I right. In most of the couples we know, there is always one with a voice that likes to be dominant when the other is quiet and simple  
But between us both there isn't quite one, you know, we both fighting a lot and want to be the controls. The only difference is that I am the kinky one like I said before."

"you know, I quit volleyball." I finally told him, knowing he won't gonna like it. "I'm not that big now."

"I want to be angry, but I am so happy I will have more time with you." he laughed tiredly and closed his eyes.

"And I will tell you again, don't talk like you are going to die." I kissed his forehead and pat his hair until he fell asleep.

* * *

Some weeks later Hinata woke up with very bad coughs.

"Hinata, do you want me to stay home today?" I asked in worrying.

"why? Did something happen?" he pretended that he doesn't know what I meant to.

"you were coughing blood in the last days, and you seem bad today." I reached for his hand and hold it gently.

"you can go, I will call you if something happens." He squeezed my hand.

"I don't trust you to do that, I want to stay here."

"you are staying here a lot, you need the money." He tried his luck with sending me there.

"no, I don't. I sold my victory cups." I watched his horror coming.

"what? When did you do that?!" he shouted and folded immediately from the deep breathes.

"a week ago, I want to be with you how much I can." I smiled for him and he got far.

"you didn't need to. Anyway, I am picking my stuff for moving." He talked in a sarcastic voice.

"which moving?" It was my turn to panic.

"I am moving to the hospital. It's getting harder to stay here and dill with cancer alone." He mumbled and probably searched for some suitcase.

I don't want you to go. I wanted to let it out, but we both knew that he is right, the best treatment he could get it is there, so I said, "fine" and helped him get ready.

"hey, so, I will go to work now," I told to Hinata after we finished to full the forms of the hospital.

"I will miss you." He pulled me to a soft kiss. I felt a long stabbing in my chest. He won't be here for more some months, I thought to myself. How could I live without him and all his little acts?

"I will send you a reminder that I love you every half a day." I winked for hiding the depressed look on my face and walked to my work. I thought this feeling will pass quickly, but this feeling continued to take me even when I got home.

This time, when I got home, no one waited for me. It was so quiet that I wanted to run back to Hinata, but I couldn't let him know that I can't live without him at home. I wanted him to lean on me and not the opposite.

It felt weird without him. The house was so dark. so, from then on, every night when I came back home I took my guitar and recorded one song for him. I never sent them, because I thought it will be strange and creepy, but it still helped me up.

I sang this song one night, I came across it when I was talking with one of my workmates. I felt like it fit me well because I missed my little sunshine so much. I couldn't believe he thought he is the kinky one when I'm so simp for him.

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AkzTQHZVyU>

"If I could begin to be  
Half of what you think of me  
I could do about anything  
I could even learn how to love

When I see the way you act  
Wondering when I'm coming back  
I could do about anything  
I could even learn how to love like you..." some tears fell from my eyes, and a smile showed.

"I always thought I might be bad  
Now I'm sure that it's true  
'Cause I think you're so good  
And I'm nothing like you

Look at you go  
I just adore you  
I wish that I knew  
What makes you think I'm so special

If I could begin to do  
Something that does right by you  
I would do about anything  
I would even learn how to love

When I see the way you look  
Shaken by how long it took  
I could do about anything  
I could even learn how to love like you

Love like you  
Love me like you

* * *

I already got along with my new life. I came to meet Hinata every day and made sure to send him a message every few hours.

In this time, when I came to the hospital, I came to the nurses' office before I came to Hinata's place.

"hey," I turned to one of the nurses I knew.

"oh, Kageyama, how can I help you?" she asked politely.

"can I take Hinata for a walk today? I want to surprise him with stargazing." I watched her face carefully, hope that I will get permission.

"his health was very standing in the last time, so I guess it will be fine." She smiled forward me but added formal warning, "but remember the usual procedure. If he feels bad, you have to come back immediately for saving his health like it is."

"Thanks," I told and second later continued, "do you think it will be better to take him by wheelchair?"

"I think that he will love to think that he earned with one more walking next to his lover." She winked and turned back to her office work.

After that I got permission I walked to Hinata's room.

"hey," I said and opened the door. Hinata was write something on his computer.

"what do you do?" I sat next to him.

"hey," he turned his face for a little kiss before he looked back on the computer. He still didn't tell me how much time we have together, and I was scared to know, so I just watched over him how much I could too.

"I am writing my will. I thought it will be better to write it before I will feel too bad." He said in delay. I didn't like that he talked like he is going to die soon but I knew he is right.

"and what did you plan to do in the evening?" I got closer to ask about my plan.

"Nothing, I just hoped you will come and stay like every day, but you still have a job."

"I love you." I said without connecting to anything, "I hoped you will join me to walk this night, I wanted to stargaze with you."

"I will love it too," he closed his computer and I saw clearer the wires that connected him to the various machines. I liked to hear the beeps of that one which loud his heartbeats.

"cool, so I will wait for you to finish your cleaning routine. Do you want me to do something when you are taking a shower and all of that?"

"no, just wait here. I'll do it quick. You can watch something on my computer until I'll finish."

"ok, shout if you feel wick."

"I love you but my body not so hot these days." He finished with that and got into the bathroom, holding a pile of clothes.

When he got out I still sat on his bed, doing nothing. I watched his room carefully and stared at the door that part between me and Hinata.

"don't stare, it is awkward." Hinata was wearing a gray t-shirt and dark blue jeans.

"it's like heaven to get rid of the hospital uniforms." He laughed and put on his shoes.

"do you need to take medicines before we are going?" I asked.

"no, I took them already so we can start the walk already." He combined his arm with mine and pull me up.

"you are very energetic today." I patted his head and we walked out with loud voices.

"because my boyfriend just asked me to stargaze." He jumped on my back and hugged me tightly.

"so I guess you won't go by legs." I sighed with a little smile.

"I prefer to stay awake afterward, and I don't want to make us slower.

"fine for me." I held him tight on my back and listened to him talking while walking to the park I wanted us to go to. I didn't talk until we got to the park and settles down. I was having fun hearing him talking more than he did lately. It hurt him sometimes, the talks.

"Hey, Hinata," I told him while we rested on the grass and watched the black of the sky with its little shiny sparks.

"what?"

"you're my star" I took his hand and hold it tight. He got closer and put his head on my chest.

"So, you are the moon," he didn't stay own and flirted back, "there are a lot of others like me out there. But there is nothing that can replace you."

"so, you are my sunshine." I tried to get rid of his answers.

"Kags, you know that I right," he said my full name tiredly, "once my mom told me that in the teens' age, you can be sure you're falling in love when you don't"

"Why do you tell me that? do you don't love me anymore?? did I do something wrong about us?" I asked, passing my hand through his orange hair to calm down.

"No! I love you." He called at loud and some coughs came.

"So why did you say that?!" I tried to understand what's wrong.

"Because I want you to go!" he said and his words made me cry.

"But what's wrong about me comfort you?!"

"I don't want you to see me breaking down! I hate it!" he started to cry.

"hey, I am not living you, I am so fucking love you. Did you expect from me to leave my lover to die alone?" I got out the word 'die' for the first time in this connection.

"I knew you would say it." He sighed and hugged me tight, "but I am still happy that you are here."

We came back after midnight. Sometimes I gave to Hinata my jacket for he can warm it. I didn't stay for sleep, although I already knew I am going to be tired the next day.

When I lay on my bed a sudden thought came into my head. I want to get marry him before he will go, I want to have a ring on my finger, I want it so much that tears started to fall from my eyes because of this thought.

* * *

As I thought, the next day of work was hard and I was tired, but I tried to pass it quickly to continue with my plans for Hinata.

At the moment that I finished my job, I ran to the big mall for buying a ring. Actually, I never thought I will propose to him like that, in such a spontaneous way, I always thought I will plan something big with a lot of our friends. But now, I didn't own a time for this, I didn't want more than the simple thing with the word "yes" and two matching rings.

I looked at the first store of jewelry I saw. It seems so glorious so I got into it.

"what do you need? Young boy, let me guess, do you need a gift for your girlfriend? Maybe an engagement ring? You seem old enough to that kind of stuff…" the old seller turned to me and began to look at me and examine me.

"hey, I am sorry but I am homosexual, no need for an apology, I am here to buy engagement." I tried to appreciate her friendly attitude.

"well, I'm sorry, which kind of jewelry does he like?"

"I never saw him wear that king of stuff before, so I don't know. Although I want something simple, we don't need big decorations or words." I hoped to find a ring quickly, I didn't think about his response, I just assumed he will be happy.

"I like this one." I pointed at some smooth silver ring.

"don't you want to think before you decide?" she raised her eyebrows.

"no, I don't need to, I just know that it is the one I want." I watched the ring carefully, picture myself it on Hinata's finger.

"Okay," she sighed and took out two rings like the one I chose for making recent adjustments.

"do you want your names on the inside of the ring?" she asked and looked at me with little judging.

"yes, please. It's Shoyo and Tobio" I told our names and spelled at when she asked me to. After that, she packed the rings for me and I paid her the cost. It was expensive more than I thought, but what I wouldn't do for my sunshine?

When I finally got home I took a shower for staying at a sleepover in Hinata's hospital room. After I finished getting ready I took Hinata's old pillow and black marker that won't get off with water and write with it on the pillow.

"I love you to the moon and back" I read what I wrote before I pushed the pillow into a bag, put the box with the rings in my pocket, and got out. When I arrived I knocked on Hinata's door before coming in.

"Hey, I brought you something." I threw the bag on his bed. He got out the pillow and stared.

"you could invest more on that gift, I recognize my marker, but thanks." He laughed, "it is cute." A little smile showed on his face.

"I also wanted us to go somewhere. It seems that you are already after a shower. So, can we go out?"

After some fights he came, waiting to discover what I planned for us. I took us to the same park as yesterday. Until we got to the park the sunset already got down.

"hey, Kageyama, what are we doing here? I thought we were here yesterday." He asked in confusion. I just smiled.

"wait for a second." I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the part we can watch the sunset from and went down on one knee and pull out the special box.

"Hinata, I want to spend my whole life with you," I said and waited for a little before I came to continue when Hinata surprised me.

"But how?? I'm sick. It is stupid to marry a dying person" he said with a very judging tone.

"So, do you reject me?" I tried to stay calm, I didn't understand what was happening. I was so sure he will be so happy to get the engravement to propose.

"Yes," he said and I felt my heart get broken.

" Why can't you just marry me? I am the one who would stay here alive while you will go." I started to shout, can't control my bad feelings. The box came back to my pocket and tears fell from my eyes.

"Kageyama!! Stop it, please" Hinata shouted too, trying to make me go down.

"But I don't want to. I want you to get married to me." I held his shoulders and watched in his eyes, they were so painful. I couldn't stand with known he doesn't want me to help him, that he wants me to go. I really wanted it, you know?

"it is still stupid, you can already kiss me, so for what the marriage if I am going to die?"

"you are stupid! stupid tangerine! I hate you!!" I hugged him and cried harder than before.

"why can't you just love me back with what you have now?? before your sickness you were asking for kissing every dumb hour and now you are 'don't want to get close'. I want to stay by your side!! I have to!! I won't live with the known I could be married to my soulmate and didn't do it on time. so can you please wear that ring?" I shook him without stopping.

"I love you so much" I started to shake too. The sky upon us became black and the last sunshine is gone, the bigger flashlight of the sky now was the moon. I wanted to say you are my sunshine, and my sunshine getting dark. I wanted to shout please, let me be your moon, you are like those kinky words, so just accept mine too. But I shut up and let him answer.

"I am sorry Kags, but my answer is still no. can we please come back know? I think you should sleep a little. I will do fine alone tonight so get yourself some good sleeping." He let me continue hugging him but turned his head from me.

"Okay, sorry for the exposed emotions." I wiped my face and pull an unfeeling face on me before taking him back to the hospital and leaving him there alone.

* * *

it was some days after I asked him to marry, actually, t was a week. I didn't come for some days, I was scared of seeing his eyes again. The box always was on me, and I watched at the rings while I listened to the record of us pretending getting marry reportedly.

When I finally showed myself we pretended that nothing happened. I didn't like it, but It was better than stay for from him. Hinata leaned next to me and overthought something like always. He still talked, but less from before what happened in the last week. I lost a whole week of his health going down.

"hey, Tobio." Hinata's voice sounded very bad when he turned to me.

"what?"

"open the drawer and took what inside it." He said with a scary and silent voice.

"What is there?" I asked.

"Just open..." Hinata shrank and got far a little.

"Okay," I opened it as he said. Inside the drawer were pills I or the hospital never bought to him.

"What is it?" I asked again, frustrate.

"is that what I think it is?!" I continued to ask when he didn't answer. I remembered very well all of his talking about death, that I should go already, save my life from him, but I never thought he will take it so far.

He avoided talking with me and nodded.

"What the hell, Hinata?!"

I shouted and rolled for a position that I'm above him, in front of him, my hands next to his head.

"I don't like that you shout at me every time we are meeting." He laughed and coughed a little.

"it is not funny, I am serious." I felt like we are in an endless routine, a paradox that takes me away from him every time until the next worst thing.

"Y-You know about my cancer. I just wanted to finished it already." He stuttered.

"I lost everything; my friends, my self confident, my words, the people that were carried from me. Now I don't talk. Now I can't talk, I hate my past, I miss volleyball and I can't play. I so much hate it, and I'm living like a dead person. to be honest with myself I'm depressed. I hate the feeling I have now, and that I take medicines and everything else about this cancer. Back then I had people who made me feel important, not I am feeling like I have a big hole in my chest.  
I am trying to give love to feel love  
and I don't get anything"

I felt so bad that I am not enough for him, but I knew what he meant for.

"I prefer the lazy version of you, he likes to charge me to cuddle more than overthinking about those kinds of things." I stopped for a little and he took the talk again.

"I want to die for setting you free, but I can't, I love you too." He caught my collar shirt and pull me to an aggressive kiss. I felt like we are building from the start. But, this moment, when he told me he wanted to die instead of stay and take over my life, was the same moment I understood that I am going to do anything to keep him alive.  
So I got remember in this science lesson, which one we checked for our blood type. We had the same type. That means that maybe I can give him my body if he will need some.

* * *

The next day I called his doctor until he was ready to hear me out. I asked if I can give my little tangerine body's part if he'll need some.

"Maybe you will shut up? I have more people to take care of."

"Please, I just wanted to ask if I can share my body parts with him."

"Listen, I understand your wanting to help, but most of the time only the family can give body parts."

"I don't care, I want to check it out, I will pay you how much you want for you to check it. Please.

"You know that money is not a problem to me," I begged him to help me out.

So he sighed, "fine, I will check it. I will send you the results more some days and the payback it would cost."

"Thank you so much, doctor! I will prize you I promise! Just don't tell him anything!" I grinned and walked back toward my tangerine's hospital room. The first thing he said wasn't hey of even nod like always.

"I saw you with the doctor, what did you talk about?" he sounded suspiciously like he thought the doctor told me the estimated time of his death.

"nothing special, I asked him about your daily situation" I pulled at my shoulders and hoped nothing look different about me.

Four days had passed until the results came to my email page.

"hello Kageyama, this is Hinata's doctor.  
some days ago you asked me to check if you can give him body parts if he will need some.  
this is the results of the check: yes, you can give him parts from your body if he will need to. But anyway, I don't see any problem with his body, cancer didn't fly to the other parts and you can't give him your lungs without losing your life.  
Those are the official forms of the investigation."

And in the continue, there were some attached files. I opened them and stared while thinking about the rest of the plan to save Hinata from cancer. I remembered that the first thing I need to do is go to court and sign on forms that allow the hospital to take my body parts for the people who need them if I will die. a bell ring told me my break ended and I came back to the class. I taught like nothing was wrong. At the moment the studying hours ended I came out and drove for the closed court. I took care of the sign on organ donation after death. I asked to add a section that will give preference for my acquaintances, like Hinata. I didn't come to him that night.

*a text message received from "my little tangerine"*

Where are you? You didn't come today…

*a text message had sent to "my little tangerine"*

I am not feeling so good today. I love you.

*a text message received from "my little tangerine"*

What's wrong?

*a text message had sent to "my little tangerine"*

Nothing, I promise to come tomorrow.

I threw the phone and rubbed my face, I didn't want him to see me because of the fear he will find out somehow, even that I know it doesn't make science.

"Kageyama, I am scared" I got to remember in his words. Hinata cried into my chest. It was our first anniversary. We got out for a walk together. our way turning to one of the local bars when suddenly a terrified man got out to our way. His hand held a gun and he turned in for us, wanting to kill one of us. "Kageyama, I am scared " Hinata's words fill my head. I never understood how or why I started to act, but his words took my control. My knee hit the man's loins and my hand took his gun automatically. My fingers shook without control when I shut forward his leg, grabbed Hinata's hand, and ran out. That was the real reason for our decision not to celebrate our anniversary. I didn't get rid of the gun, he still was there, with those 3 pills I never got out, and waited for something. I guess that I knew it useful. I touched it after a long time and thought about my plans.

"You are going to help me save him, you know," I whispered and went back to bed, with the known that I already did almost all the formal preparations for my death. The only thing I had to do now is to spend my last days with my Hinata.

* * *

Some more days passed until I was ready to finish the job and invite Hinata. I resigned from the work at the university. I didn't want to make more people know what is happening. I asked for permission to take Hinata to the apartment for a day, I wanted to say goodbye even if he didn't know that.

Before I came to bring him to (now only) my apartment, I made a list of the things I wanted us to do.

-Get matching outfits.  
-Kiss in the rain  
-Watch a movie while cuddling  
-Make cookies  
-Spend all night cuddling (again)  
-Make a couples video  
-Make a picnic  
-Dance in the rain  
-Make a scrapbook of memories  
-Learn origami  
-Eat ice cream

-Write our own love story.

I knew it is a little too much but I really wanted to spend with him my last day as it should be.

It was 10:00 am when we got together into the apartment. I guess he thought it will be his last time there because he looked at everything in an emotional look.

"Hey, do you want us to eat something? I made our favorite sandwiches and cut some fruits for we would go to eat a picnic in the park." I asked him. I planned already all day but I didn't want him to think I am weird. That's a little funny, what I was avoiding after 5 years together.

" that can be nice, so, we are going to the park?" he asked me back. I saw in this eyes this little want to walk by leg, even that will be hard for him.

"yes, we will walk and I will bring the picnic box. I will pick you up when we will come back if you feel week.

"Okay, I'm ready," he said and jump onto my back.

"hey! I said when we will come back!" I groaned.

"yeah, but I like to be here, I am taller than you this way," He laughed, "get closer to the table, I will take the box." He said and rubbed his head in my hair when I got close.

On our way to the park, I didn't talk a lot. It was a little tired to swipe Hinata who held the picnic box, but he himself wasn't heavy at all. It was a little scary, his low weight.

"I want to sit there! Next to the ice cream stand." Hinata told me where he wants us to go and I went there. When he put the picnic box down I made him fall to the grass and started to tickle him, I just wanted to hear him laugh.

"K-Kageyama! T-T-Tobi-o!" he rolled from side to side and laughed without stopping. He coughed a little so I started to kiss him instead.

"Tobio! We are in the middle of the park!" he became red and I laughed and stopped.

"fine, but just because we have a whole day in front of us." I smiled and grabbed one sandwich to start eating. While we ate I got out my phone and sign one line with a little x next to it.

-Make a picnic- X

The next thing we could do is to eat ice cream together, so I asked him if he wants some.

"do you want me to go buy some ice cream?" I looked at him eating. I already finished my sandwich and ate some of the fruits so I didn't care to stand in the queue.

"How can I say no? I will stare and eat fruits from here." He laughed and watched me go. When he thought I don’t look he put down his food and breathed, maybe he didn't want me to worry and take him back, but I still didn't care, not this time. He didn't eat from the fruits, he just stared and smiled forward me, but when I had shown with the ice cream he jumped up and took one ice cream cone.

"Leave me the vanilla one," I asked and replaced our cones.

"that's not nice of you!" he frowned and took a bite from the chocolate ice cream, "but the chocolate absolutely tastes better."

"lets' take pictures." I got out my phone and waited for him to smile.

"hey, I wanna one more picture. I looked sick in this one." He tried to take my phone.

"sure." I kissed him and took one more picture. His face was so red that I couldn’t stand on it and kissed him again.

"you are still eating." He laughed and protest his check from the sticky kiss.

"I really hope you don't do it usually." I turned to my ice cream too. He always ate so slow, like he doesn't want the sweet to get over, so while he continued eating I got out my phone and sign one more complete line.

-Eat ice cream- X

When we got home I asked him to make cookies. He laughed at me but still had fun from ruin the kitchen with me. We made some TikToks as I planned and some of the other lines, and every time I sign the lines we did. When I took a shower Hinata took my phone and saw that list.

"what is it?" he asked in confusion.

"I wanted to do how much I can with you, I am sorry if it sounds weird"

"no, this is not. This is so adorable. But how can we kiss or dance in the rain?" he asked with a tone of I really was wanted to but. And he right, the rain didn't come.

"oh I have an idea!" he jumped and took off his shirt.

"what are you doing?" I raised my eyebrows.

"we can to it under the shower water, no? that's the same thing." He touched my shirt and asked gently.

"can I?" I nodded and we got into the shower like that, without our shirts.

-kiss in the rain- X

-dance in the rain- X

-Get matching outfits-X

"I must say that I really like this milk outfit, what next?" he asked me after we sign the lines we did in the water and after.

"We can do the scrapbook of memories. Let's do it on our phones." I said.

"oh! I know the perfect app for this!" he raised his phone and we lay on each other, picking up our favorite pictures. I almost forgot I am planning to die.

"I am tired." He yawned after half an hour of laughing at photos and videos. "I will come for here tomorrow for the last thing we didn't do, our love story. Let's watch the movie now, I will sleep on you, fine?" he held my hand and pull me after him. I didn't understand how much I missed our nights together, how lonely it was without him here. I wanted to cry again, but I couldn't make him understand what was going on, so I just kissed his forehead every five minutes until he fell asleep, and then I cried my soul out.

"Are you going to job?" He asked me in the morning.

"Yes," I lied and smiled a little. Hinata laughed at something.

"Where is my morning kiss?" He asked like in the old days, before he got sick.

"Right here" I kissed him, "are you sure you will get along with driving on a bus?" I asked for the million time.

"yes, stop be so worried about me," he rolled his eyes.

"And you are coming at half-past five past morning like you promised, right?" I checked it again.

"Yes, I promise I will be here exactly when you asked me to." He sighed. I grabbed his neck without thinking twice and kissed him again.

"I love you Shoyo, I love you so much," I whispered and kissed him over and over again until he got far.

"stop acting like I am going to die in a second." He whispered back and kissed me last before he walked away.

"Sorry, I just wanted to let you know" I smiled forward him and ran out for my car. I felt like I'm going to cry, so I palmed my face and let it out alone in the car.

"What happened to you, Kageyama Tobio? Why are you cry if you are going to save your boyfriend?" I talked to myself while I rubbed my face and started to drive. I drove to the closed photo store. I wanted to walk a little so I parked far a little and continue to walk by leg forward the photos picture shop.

"How can I help you?" the seller asked me when the open bell rang, telling her about a new customer.

"I want to print some pictures in a little size, and another one on a middle size album," I said and handed my phone

"how many little pictures you want to print?"

"It is something like five hundred."

"it will be 100 dollars for you," she told and took the phone with the pictures from me. she connected it to the printer and she turned back for me.

"which picture you want on the album?"

"can I show you on my phone?"

"of course."

from this store, I got out with a big and heavy bag. my next and final stop was in my house. I put the bag down and started to disperse all of the pictures on the floor. when all of my work finished I took some paper and a pen. I wrote my will, I wrote for him my last words, and after I finished with the papers I got out my phone and started to record myself. I already set a message for the doctor that will be sent in 17:30, for living Hinata enough time to watch my gifts before I will give him the biggest one, my lungs, his life. After I finished with the records, the alarms, the messages, it already was 04:00 pm hand was on the gun's cold metal when I heard a sound of a new notification.

*a text message received from "my little tangerine"*

I left you lunch in the freeze, I forgot to tell you before. I stared at the message a lot of time before I could answer.

*a text message has sent to "my little tangerine"*

Thank you, honey, I love you.

And after one more second, I sent one more

*a text message has sent to "my little tangerine"*

More than you think.

That was the moment I left my phone next to me and took the gun, ready to finish it. It could be easier if I suffocated myself or take too many pills, but I didn't want the lungs to get hurt. So I made sure they won't, and with tears in my eyes, a smile on my face, and love in my heart, I pressed.

AND BOOM.

* * *

*two text messages received from Kageyama.*  
Thank you, honey, I love you.  
More than you think.  
  
I didn't get lots of messages like that from him, so I filled curiously from what's my boyfriend planned to do.

"Can I go out today?" I asked My nurse while taking my medicines routine. Even if she would say no I was coming, because I promised to, but I still wanted to try to receive a positive answer.

"Yes, you did well in the last days." She smiled at me and the admire for us, the cancer patients, it was visible from her eyes

"Thanks. I won't come back late" I smiled back in thanking.

I came to him with a bus. His house wasn't so far so one bus was enough. I got down from the bus, walking forward Kageyama's place. I didn't own a car, because most of the time Kageyama took me from place to place.

"Hey Kags, I'm here" I walked into the house without knocking, and then I saw him lying on the floor with blood over his head.

And I felt like drowning, everything around me was black. I felt like I can't hear, not when his harmony voice not there. I just stared at his body and whispered ununderstood words with some thin tears. 

"hey, Kags. Tobio, get out of it." I was shaking while I was slapping his cheeks.

"Tobio, wake up!!" I hugged him tight and kissed his lips for a very long time, but he didn't wake up.

I don't know how I continued to breathe, but somehow I turned my look over the floor. all over the floor was cover by photos of us together, me alone, from the hospital, from high-school, but the thing that took my breath again was the small album we made yesterday on real with a folded letter inside it. I wipe my tears because I was afraid to ruin the paper and opened the book, turning every page until I could grab the letter and start to read.

"Hey, Shoyo, I don't know how to say it but I couldn't stand in the thought that you will go, you know, up there. Now, I am sorry for not being here, but I wanted you to live like I can't, with the love to people and people's love.  
Found new life, respect working people, find a new boy, play volleyball, be nice to my parents, kiss again, take care of a child, live, that's all I have to say. I am sorry if you expected something else from this letter and I ruined it, but I don't have anything to say except.  
Sorry  
Live  
I love you, sunshine  
the moon"

I looked again upon the scrapbook of our memorize. All of the pages were just like we did except the last one. It was the list of his wishes and next to any of it the picture of us make it, the wish. but upon everyone, he wrote.

"I love you."

"I love you."

"I love you."

"I love you."

I found myself read it over and over again, despite I couldn't read more because the tears.

The last line was "marry my sunshine." Now I hoped I took his hand when he asked me to be his husband. I held his cold hand while I stared at the pictures. I was angry at him, that he killed himself, but then the book fell from my hands and got closed so I could look at the cover again.

"When my sunshine got dark (please let me be your moon)"

I just finished reading the title and Tobio's phone lighted the darkroom that I didn't understand I left with lights off and the room filled with his voice.

"amm… Hinata, are you there? I guess you are if you came in time. I know the letter wasn't something special, I think you know I am not so good with words, but every night I took my guitar and played you a song. I never sent you them because I didn't want to be too naive. but now, you can save my phone and listen to them wherever you want to.

"I wanted you to hear two things. This record, and one song."

And then a very old record started to play.

**"So, amm, Kageyama Tobio. Do you take me, Hinata Shoyo, to be for your husband and to take care of in sickness and war, until the dead will apart us?"**

The moment I heard the record I ran forward him. I put my hands in his pockets and searched until I find the box with the rings, our rings. I still didn't cry as I should, maybe I didn't get what happened yet.

**"Yes, I do"**

I said my words from the record too. After Tobio's line, I slipped one ring on his finger.

 **"and do you, Hinata Shoyo, takes me, Kageyama Tobio, to be your husband and to take care of in sickness and war, until the dead will apart us?"  
** **"Yes, I do"**

My eyes sparkled from tears when I said those words. Somehow my hands caught his shirt collar and pull him closer. I slipped my ring on my finger and waited for the last line.

**"Kiss me."**

And so I did. My eyes didn't hold back anymore and all over the tears fell on his bloody face and clean it. I waited for him to wake up, but the only thing that happened is his singing that flew out from the phone. I was afraid to touch it because maybe it will stop so he just lay on Tobio and listened to the song. "keep your head up princess of Anon Seabra

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTNE1ru9ELc>

"So keep your head up, sunshine when the night falls.  
Even now when my voice will be far miles more,  
I know you thought you'll die but you have more life to go…  
  
Keep your head up sunshine its a long road  
But in my room, I left our pics to help your heart grow.  
I know it hurts right now but I know you'll make it home  
So keep your head up  
So keep your head up"

I hugged his body and kissed him until someone came into the room and took me from there. The beeps of the hospital told me I am going to be healthy again, that his lungs will be in my body, that he is the one that got away.

The surgery had past and his lungs were inside my body already, when I made my steps for the funeral. when I left the hospital I couldn't believe he won't wait for me anymore. that he isn't there.

When I arrived at his funeral I saw his parents cry. I don't know why but I couldn't cry. His mom straggled me and I just felt like a wreck or big black hole.

"How could you?! How could you take our son?? You are a son of b-!!" Asahi came out and set us apart while Tadashi took me away, close to the stage.

"Would you say your speech? I didn't know if you would can to set one so I wrote something if you will need help" he said and I smiled a little for him.

"You are bitch yourself!!" Tsukishima started to shout back at Tobio's mom.

"You couldn't stay next to your son just because he loves a boy! The boy you just shouted at him! The one he died for! You shouldn't be allowed to stay here!! Get out from Kageyama's funeral!"

"Stop" I find myself catching Tsukishima's shirt.

"It's fine, they are should throw the pain on someone, so it's fine" I finished and walked back towards the stage. When I walked by the cold coffin I slid my hand on it and stand to start my speech.

"Hey, amm, I am Tobio's boyfriend, no, husband." I fixed myself when I got to remember at the ring I put on his dead body.

"I am sure that you all know him for his big name, the great volleyball player, the successful business man, or the chemistry teacher. But the first time we met was in my last volleyball game at the middle school. After that, when we learned together, he always was bullying me" I said and tears started to get down."He rejected me when I confessed to him, and even when we got together we continued to fight. So I thought I could pay him back and leave him alone here, that my cancer came to let me laugh last. That he will be the one who will stay alone." An unwanted smile got on my face while I rubbed my palms against the tears.

"But even so we never planned our anniversary until our last, and even so we absolutely weren't the perfect couple. I loved him so much" I find out I talked in a past term, that I get he is not there.

"Hey, once I told you that if someone between us should die it will be me because you're so important to the world and I'm just your little boy. You must be laughing at me, right? You can come out now, with your camera, and laugh at me. Do it now. Before I'll get broke. Show me I don't have to die" I couldn't take it anymore and fell to the ground, bitter it tears in front of all the people.

"I don't know what to say to all of those people here!! I don't know how to say goodbye!! I don't know how to tell your eulogy!! I just know that you died to give me your body to keep! So please someone, come here to say what I can't." Tadashi's arms bounded me and he helped me up.  
"I'll take it from here," he squeezed my arm and someone took me from there.

I don't remember a lot from the rest of this day. Just the moment that I stood in front of the coffin and stared at my boyfriend's dead body. Nothing more than that. The long look I took told me that someone cleaned him from the blood over his head. I was sad a little from the known that not all of his body is there, going to bury. Because he was prepper to give up on his perfect life for me to take them. To make me earn the life I already gave up above the death I came to term with. 

****

A whole year had passed before I stopped to listen to Tobio's records every night. I came back to volleyball, and Tobio's sacrifice made the Olympic team see me and take me to her lines.

"Hey, papa, can I hear dad's record again?" my five years boy child asked me.  
I remembered how much Tobio wanted us to adopt a baby, so after I recovered from his death, I wanted to make something for him, so I adopt a baby. he grew us with a known that he has two fathers who love him, just that one gone. he liked to listen to our marriage record, Tobio's songs, or watch our games together, he liked him, liked the father he never met.  
His hair was black, his eyes were blue, and every time I looked at him I felt the lungs inside me want to hug him.  
  
"So, amm, Kageyama Tobio. Do you take me, Hinata Shoyo, to be for your husband and to take care of in sickness and war, until the dead will apart us?" I still could hear my sniffs.

"Yes, I do" he mumbled

"and do you, Hinata Shoyo, takes me, Kageyama Tobio, to be your husband and to take care of in sickness and war, until the dead will apart us?"

"Yes, I do" I remembered my eyes which sparkled when I said those words. Somehow my hands caught his shirt collar and pull him closer. His face was red a little too when I whispered towards him.

"Kiss me."

And that was the first time ever my lips fell against someone else's lips. Some thin tears fell from his eyes.

but now I didn't cry,   
not at all  
because I felt like our little child will bring him back somehow.  
  
Because When I got dark, he was my moon.

And the moon is always coming back.

 _"And if you're ever feeling lonely just look at the moon.  
_Someone, somewhere, is looking right at it too."

**Author's Note:**

> I never thought about writing fanfic, and KageHina is definitely not my favorite Haikyuu ship, but Kageyama is the only one I could picture myself doing that for his love.  
> If you read it and cry (or just like it), please tell me so I won't cry alone.  
> i just listened to so many songs that's remind me it,  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yW7w8F2TVA - this song, "say you won't let go" got me with the line of the lungs.  
> and how bad my English was? hihi  
> I really hope you enjoyed it.  
> you can find me on Instagram as "agam_ilovetowrite", talk to me about mine (or yours, I really love talking) if you want to. if you got me tell you somehow to read it please, I don't want it to stay like that forever, hope that you will understand... so if you have something like that too just tell me 'cause i love to read. (omg I think i'm talking to much)  
> Follow me if you liked my story and maybe I'll translate more for English.  
> (because to write without readers is really causing disappointment and bla bla bla)  
> and remember me, because I am going to publish books (with the big peoples *proud face* and maybe more some years you will read a story with one Marcus that looks like Bokuto and will know that you read me firstt  
> I also have a perfect idea for sakuatsu story so if I ever get to 50 kudos I'll write it (maybe in parts this time:))  
> love you if you got until here <3


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